Peer-on-peer abuse is one of the significant risks facing children and young adults today. However, it often goes unseen and unreported. It should be clear that peer-on-peer abuse must never be accepted or dismissed as ‘children being children’.
This has been highlighted by the recent media coverage reporting that more than 8,000 allegations made by school pupils on a website gathering testimonies of sexual violence and abuse. Many of the perpetrators are claimed to be at the same school or in the same school groups. These social groups could also include girls from Girls’ Brigade England & Wales.
It is important that, as youth leaders, we understand and can recognise when something appears to be not right and be available to provide the right help and support.
What is peer-on-peer abuse?
Peer-on-peer abuse is any form of physical, sexual, emotional abuse, and coercive control exercised between children, and within children’s relationships (both intimate and non-intimated), friendships, and wider peer relationships.
Peer-on-peer abuse can take various forms, including (but not limited to):
- Serious bullying (including cyberbullying);
- Relationship abuse;
- Domestic violence and abuse;
- Child sexual exploitation;
- Youth and serious youth violence;
- Harmful sexual behaviour; and
- Prejudice-based violence including (but not limited to) gender-based violence.
Online peer-to-peer abuse is any form of peer-to-peer abuse with a digital element, for example:
- Sexting;
- Online abuse;
- Coercion and exploitation;
- Peer-on-peer grooming;
- Threatening language delivered via online means;
- The distribution of sexualised content; and
- Harassment.
It may be hard for us to think about children and young adults sexually abusing other children and young adults, and it isn’t always easy to tell the difference between potentially abusive and normal sexual behaviours in children. Children, particularly in younger age groups, might engage in such behaviour without knowing that it is wrong or abusive.
HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR (HSB) IS A TERM USED TO DESCRIBE SEXUAL ACTIONS THAT ARE OUTSIDE WHAT IS SAFE FOR A CHILD’S STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT
That is why it can be more accurate to talk about harmful sexual behaviour rather than abuse. HSB includes actions that can harm either the child or another person. It can include:
- Frequently and intentionally accessing age-inappropriate sexual material online;
- Using inappropriate, often sexualised, language;
- Undertaking mutual sexual activity with peers that is not appropriate to age and maturity;
- Sending and receiving illegal images;
- Sexual interactions where there are significant power differences, lack of consent, or with force or threats [noting that consent is not possible under the age of 16 years]; and
- Engaging in abusive or violent sexual behaviour online or offline.
Under 18’s are responsible for at least a third of recorded sexual offences against children in the UK. Boys in early adolescence, around the time that puberty starts, tend to display the most harmful sexual behaviour although younger children and girls do sometimes engage in these behaviours too. Girls tend to be over-represented amongst the victims of harmful sexual behaviour. Those with learning disabilities and autism also tend to be over-represented amongst those who have displayed HSB.
Around half of those who display HSB have experienced sexual abuse themselves. However, most young people do not persist with these behaviours into adulthood.
Should you be worried about a child’s activities?
As a parent, carer or leader, you might be worried about how much time your child is spending online, what they are doing, and who they are connecting with. Some of you might be worried about older children spending a lot of time alone in their rooms or younger children engaged in unsupervised playtime. You might be wondering if the child is completely safe, and what you can do to better protect them.
Ofcom has reported that online use has increased dramatically since COVID-19 forced everyone to stay at home. Adults in the UK are thought to be spending more than a quarter of their waking day online, and there has been a surge in services such as AI, Zoom, WhatsApp, X and others as people try to stay connected. The use of social media such as Snapchat, YouTube, Instagram and TikTok is prevalent amongst older children aged 5 – 15 years. Concerns about these platforms include children and young adults accessing harmful and age-inappropriate content and receiving unwanted sexual messages. Although age controls have been tightened, there remains room for improvement.
The Internet Watch Foundation has reported that they blocked at least 8.8 million attempts by UK Internet users to access videos and images of children suffering sexual abuse during lockdown.
Parents, carers and leaders need to be mindful of the behaviours in which their children are engaging, whether with siblings, other peers or online – including touching, creating harmful online content or sending indecent messages. By giving everyone the right information and support, we can be equipped to address concerns and take positive steps to prevent harmful sexual behaviour from happening in the first place.
If a young person commits these types of offences, they can have a lifelong impact in many ways, not least in limiting career options. A youth caution remains on the individual’s criminal record into and through adulthood. It is considerred spent but will appear on an enhanced criminal record check unless it is filtered.
You must report abuse to help others
It is important to remember that sharing stories online does not formally replace reporting abuse through the correct channels. Reporting incidents is often difficult but it can be done face-to-face or electronically, the latter often being referred to as ‘digital whistleblowing’. We would remind and encourage anyone who has experienced abuse in any form to report it to the appropriate bodies so that it can be investigated fully, and so that those affected can receive the support they need. Early reports are best but late reports, after a period of reflection perhaps, are also useful.
As a trusted person in Girls’ Brigade England & Wales, a young person may confide in you. Please ensure that always make a report to help support them appropriately.
NSPCC
If you are worried about a child, even if you are unsure, you can speak to NSPCC about your concerns. Whether you want to report child abuse and neglect, or you are not sure what to do, they will listen, offer advice and support, and can take the next steps.
Helpline 0808 800 5000 (Monday to Friday 0800-2200, weekends 0900-1800)
E-mail [email protected] or report online at nspcc.org.uk
In an emergency call 999
Safeguarding Reminder
If you are ever worried about a safeguarding concern, you can consider taking, including:
- reporting directly to police if suspected wrongdoing involves a crime or potential criminal activity
- contacting your local safeguarding team
- completing a cause for concern report form
- emailing complaints to [email protected]
- making a ‘Freedom to Speak Up’ disclosure, sometimes referred to as a ‘whistleblowing’ disclosure. See Life to the Full for more information on this.
Completing a cause for concern report form
If you genuinely believe an allegation or are worried by something you have seen, heard or been told about, include your name and contact details and as much detail as possible about what is worrying you before forwarding to [email protected] . This can then be assessed as to who is best placed to manage the concern. It may be given to the police or the local authority safeguarding colleagues to follow up.
Freedom to Speak Up
If you do not feel it is safe for you to raise a grievance through the normal line management procedure, there is an option to use the Freedom to Speak Up process. The Freedom to Speak Up Guardian’s role is to provide leadership, expertise, advice and to challenge The Girls' Brigade England & Wales to ensure no one suffers negative repercussions from speaking up. If you have something you want to speak up about and feel that other routes are not suitable, or if you just want some advice and support on what options you have, please email [email protected] .
This is a confidential service and the Guardian will protect your anonymity if this is important.
What if I’m wrong about my concerns?
People are sometimes reticent to raise concerns openly in case they are wrong. Whilst that is an understandable worry, you cannot afford to take the risk of not reporting genuine concerns. Not reporting could mean a lost opportunity to help the people at risk of harm and could result in The Girls' Brigade England & Wales being judged to have failed in our duty to keep people safe. People who report in good faith will not be penalised even if their concerns turn out not to be quite as you thought. Remember that if you genuinely believe there is wrongdoing, you should remain steadfast and provide contact details so that you can discuss your concerns, give a fuller explanation and be supported.
Do not wait if you are unsure seek advice early.
Please share with colleagues, safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility!
